[Captions for TikTok]

Finally, here is my (in)famous doctoral dissertation:

“A Cabal of Outsiders: Negotiating the (Virtual) Boundaries of the Church of Satan.”

Go to to access it.

I may eventually host a public forum to answer questions, but it will likely be moderated by an academic colleague in my field. I’ll announce it if/when that gets organized.

It is free to access, however, by my count, academia owes me one million dollars for over a decade of unpaid labour, so here is my suggested gift scale:

  Black women: free
  Church of Satan members: free
  PhD graduates: free
  Contingent, part-time, adjunct scholars: free
  Administrators running departments: free
  Tenured professors: $20
  Administrators with those good, good salaries: $200
  John Oliver: free with a job offer (or $1000 of that sa-weet HBO $)
  Note: for academia at large, I no longer work without fair compensation.
  Consultation fee: variable, depending on project.

Also accepting gifts via:


Thanks, and Hail Satan!

Entirely Frivolous Post-PhD Fundraiser


This fundraiser’s sole purpose is to provide a 6 month cushion between PhD completion and whatever-comes-next. Thesis defence imminent.


It is, thus, an entirely frivolous fundraiser as its sole purpose is to pay my rent and bills until I find a decent job. It provides a window to rest and job search without the urgent immediacy of bills. In the odd chance that this fundraiser exceeds the amount any excess will go to:

1-Buying my mom a bed. She gave me her bed last year and is currently sleeping on her futon. Approx. $500

2-A pair of too-expensive vintage-style sneakers. Adidas or Brooks, probably. $150
3-Pedicure, but a fancy one. They massage your feet and everything. $80
4-Repay debts. *cough cough* *too much to mention here*
5-A dishwasher appliance. $1000
6-Save for a rock-out-with-your-tits-out party sometime in the future when it’s safe (enough) to let loose and go the full sativa under patio lights among loved ones and friends.

The rules for giving:

1-If you have given me money in the past, you are entirely relieved from giving me money again. I thank you for your past support. You helped me complete my degree. You also helped me stay medically stable and healthy. I cannot overemphasize how important this was to me. I will be forever grateful. Thank you. [heart emojis]

2-If you find me too obnoxious (fair) please consider helping any other graduate student in your life, in ways great and small. They are working under the conditions of extreme stress, trying to produce exceptional work with their undervalued brilliance. Help them. They need it. Even if they don’t say so.

3-Please know that my research is on fringe religions in the Witchy/Satanic area of academic inquiry. If this makes you uncomfortable in any way, it is easy to bypass my GoFundMe and put your money into another researcher whose topic you’d prefer to fund. If any phd grad wants me to circulate their fundraiser, please send me a link on Twitter at @cim_holt.

I wish everyone a happy apocalypse as we collectively try to survive late-stage capitalism’s crumbling empire. Money is a social construct that society’s stakeholder’s have made necessary in order for us to overwork ourselves to exhaustion trying to achieve the bare minimum of stability and I also will sell out for corporate money at the drop of a hat. Both things can be true. I can put my future corporate money into whatever initiatives I want outside of work hours, so if I ever do accumulate enough (entirely fabricated) social credits to have disposable income I will help fund my friends’ various projects. Even if/especially if that project is also to rest for a few months. I will also gleefully overpay for both a housekeeper and home chefs delivering nutritious meals to my doorstep. Maybe afford to seduce a ridiculously, ridiculously good looking athletic-built man and finally fulfill my dream of becoming a sugar mama, as nature and Satan intended.

If you’ve gotten this far and want to work with me and compensate me fairly for my endless supply of good ideas, hit me up at:cimminneeholt (at) thatgoogleone (dot) com

You may also send me $ directly on PayPal at